Abstract
To understand the articles which appear in professional journals, one must first understand the game that academics play to gain tenure and promotion. There usually are three criteria for gaining tenure and promotion: (a) Publications—this criterion is met by publishing articles in reputable journals. A reputable journal can be recognized by its academic orientation and tendencies toward mathematical obscurities, (b) Good Teaching—this criterion is met if the students do not physically throw the instructor out of the classroom (except in Sociology where this behavior may be considered as the students freeing themselves from a repressive society and hence a valuable outcome), (c) Community Service—this criterion is met by attending the department meetings. In heavily political departments, this criteria is met by not attending these meetings and avoiding political entanglements. Thus, in the treacherous dog-eat-dog world of publishing, it is essential for the academician to understand how to be top dog if he wants to keep his job. Many academicians fail to publish just because they do not know and/or use the time-honored success strategies for publishing. This no-holds-barred paper reveals these strategies and evaluates their effectiveness. Although the paper is addressed to the needs of the academician, as the strategies unfold, it will become apparent why the most reputable journals are often unreadable.

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