ObjectiveTo explore the gender difference in reporting headache and neck or shoulder pain, we analysed the association between reported own headache and reporting the same complaints among first grade relatives. Based on these associations we discuss ‘learning’ of illnesses within the family structures.MethodA cross-sectional study based on a self-administered postal questionnaire of musculoskeletal complaints in the total population aged 20–70 years was carried out. A population based study was conducted in the municipality of Bardu, northern Norway. A total population of men and women aged 20–70, altogether 2409 people, were sent a questionnaire. After one postal reminder 1939 questionnaires were returned, a response rate of 80.5%. The return rate was slightly higher among the eldest. The sex distribution was the same in both the responders and the non-responders.ResultsThe females in the family and the brothers and sisters were the main family members imprinting the way in which the children were deciphering symptoms like headache and neck or shoulder pain later in life. These illnesses were changed to a very little extent by the impact from the spouse.