Silent sorrow: Grief and the loss of significant others

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Abstract
Studies of grief and bereavement have long recognized that relationship and attachment to the deceased is a critical determinant of the intensity of grief. Yet most studies only examine the impact of death on the immediate family or close kin. There is often an implicit assumption that such close relationships only exist among spouses or other members of the immediate family. This paper considers the impact of grief on nontraditional relationships. These include extramarital affairs, cohabitation, and homosexual relationships. Utilizing existing literature and case studies, the paper discusses the ways in which the tasks of bereavement can be complicated in nontraditional relationships. While grief may be intensified, resources for resolving grief are often limited. It may not be possible to utilize formal and informal support systems effectively. Religion and rituals may constrain, rather than facilitate, grief work. The paper describes five dimensions that bear upon the resolution of grief in nontraditional relationships. These include affect/meaning, openness-secrecy, acceptance-rejection, opportunity for replacement, and social support. The paper also describes the ways in which such grief might be manifested and offers suggestions for assisting people in recognizing and resolving grief.

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