About Adoption

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Abstract
Most people concerned with and working in relation to child care probably have appreciated the overtones in Winnicott's imprecise and slightly slangy nomination of “the good enough mother”, who is basic to the healthy growth of her children. The good enough mother is most mothers, he suggests, a mother who is an interested parent, ready and mostly unselfconscious in her adaptation to her child's needs, and one who loves him in his growth away from as well as in his dependence upon her. It is a contemporary phrase of generous dimensions; most folk come within its terms. Most of us are “good enough” in most of our undertakings, and, in so far as we fail, we fail by the particular blend of human stuff within us and the particular external circumstances to hand, and as a rule we do not even then fail all the way or all the time. In the undertaking of rearing a family, parents who biologically produce their own children and parents who adopt their children succeed much in the same measure. Winnicott's phrase is one that indicates an acceptance of the limits inevitable to any achievements we aspire to. It is a description that can remove the thorn from many a harassed or attempted self-evaluation, and it certainly can remind all who may be trying to evaluate maternal practices that the boundaries of “goodness” are wide and that they enclose as much variableness as human nature itself.

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