Leaving as a Wife, Leaving as a Mother

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Abstract
This discussion begins with the conviction that we need to examine the meaning of the decision to relinquish child custody rather than its causes. Based on in-depth, semistructured interviews with 20 noncustodial mothers, it is shown that mothers relinquish custody either “as wives” or “as mothers,” and by that is meant the status that is made salient in their leaving. “Leaving as a wife” reflects a decision primarily responsive to husband's acts or wishes; “leaving as a mother” reflects a reaction to a particular child or to the role of child rearer. Whereas these two ways of leaving home are different in their meaning and consequence, social reaction appears to treat them as a unitary social category. This collapsing of the categories points to the preeminence of motherhood for women.

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