The paradox of trust for male couples: When risking is a part of loving

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Abstract
Among gay men, there is evidence to suggest that serious, committed male couples practice especially risky sex. To understand the reasons why male couples might take such risks, 92 participants (46 long‐term couples) were asked to complete a survey in which they independently indicated their sexual practices, why they engaged in them, and their attitudes toward relationships. Three sets of findings suggest a paradoxical relationship between emotional intimacy and sexual risk: (1) love, trust, and commitment were used more often to explain riskier than safer sex; (2) those more dependent upon their relationships and who desired a stable and lasting relationship practiced riskier sex; and (3) requesting safer sex had negative connotations (e.g., suspicion of extrarelationship sexual contacts). Of those who practiced safer sex (i.e., protected anal sex), 94% indicated that they did so because of their “fear of AIDS.” Implications of these findings for developing HIV interventions for male couples are discussed.