Shadow realities in close relationships

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Abstract
Starting from phenomenological theories about the negotiation of reality in dose relationships, a case is made for Shadow Realities in such relationships. Shadow realities are integrated alternative realities, not now in the relationship reality but at times available to people in the relationship. Shadow realities include unacceptable and threatening information and interpretations that fit the relationship and could undermine the negotiated relationship reality. The article offers theoretical discussion of what may be in these shadow realities, reasons people avoid them, what the gains and risks are for a couple of exploring their shadow realities, and the therapeutic applications of understanding and doing therapy within a framework that includes shadow realities.