Abstract
Family therapy has not served battered women well. Men use battering to silence women; a woman, once abused, is unlikely to speak honestly in a situation where doing so invites re‐abuse. Therefore we rarely perceive, label or deal effectively with male violence toward women, a major source of marital disruption. To stand with the oppressed, we must learn to detect the possibility of abuse, separate the couple, and refuse to collude with criminal acts.

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