Abstract
Following Bowen's lead, a number of family therapists have shared accounts of their efforts at defining themselves in their families‐of‐origin. Some reports have been anecdotal in form, while others have been research oriented, with considerable theoretical exposition as to strategy and tactics. This report is neither. With a style more akin to that of the memoir, the paper deals with contacts between the writer and his family‐of‐origin over many years, the death of the writer's father providing the initial impetus.

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