Abstract
Decency and good manners are not optional but essential ingredients of good lives in a democracy. Decency in a democratic society, it is claimed, is a matter of having an attitude of goodwill towards non‐intimates (though there will be overlaps with the treatment of friends and intimates), which will be expressed in different ways in different groups. It will often involve not insisting on one's rights and giving other people more than is due to them. It is argued that the fact that expressions of decency vary between social groups may cause misunderstandings. Objections to ideals of decency and good manners are then tackled. Finally, it is claimed that there is a role for the school in implicitly and explicitly teaching decency as part of its education for citizenship in a democracy.

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