Intimacy and Distancing

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Abstract
This study examinedhow 32 pairs of 19-to 22-year-oldEuro-Americanmale friends constructed intimacy when telling romantic-relationship stories in casual conversations. Analyses centered on the emergence of two types of conversational positions: intimate positions and distancing positions. Intimate positions constructed young men as warm, caring, and emotionally vulnerable; distancing positions functioned to diminish intimacy, care, and vulnerability. Although intimate positions were present, they did not arise in a straightforward or unmarked way. Instead, intimate positions were often eclipsed or supplanted by distancing positions. The findings provide a conversationally nuanced understanding of how young men practice intimacy by constructing themselves as moving both toward and away from close relationships with women. For emerging adult males, we suggest that such shifting positions can help to develop a clearer sense of what one wants, and does not want, in a love relationship.