Would You Say You "Had Sex" If . . . ?

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Abstract
The degree to which individuals vary with respect to the behavioral criteria involved in labeling an interaction as having "had sex" has implications for both clinical and research purposes. Recent public discourse regarding whether oral-genital contact constitutes having "had sex" highlights the importance of explicit criteria in contrast with implicit assumptions in this area. Unfortunately, a review of the literature demonstrates that empirical exploration of what is included in definitions of having "had sex" for the general public in the United States remains scant. Social and legal definitions of "sex," "sex act," "having sex with," "sexual relations," and various crimes related to having "had sex," including adultery, rape, and statutory rape, vary depending on the source but often refer to sexual intercourse, which, in turn, is often defined as "coitus" or "copulation."1-5 Not surprisingly, engaging in behaviors other than penile-vaginal intercourse is a strategy used by some to preserve "technical virginity."6-11 In keeping with such views, a 1996 convenience sample of college students found that almost 3 out of 4 students reported that they would not include in a list of their sexual partners those with whom they only had oral sex.6 In concert with that perspective, when asked, "Is oral sex ‘real' sex?" only 52% of men and 46% of women said yes. However, this suggests that for some, engaging in an act they define as "sex" does not necessitate defining the other person as a "sexual partner" and, hence, does not inevitably lead to labeling the interaction as a sexual relationship.

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