Separation of Generations-Who Benefits?

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Abstract
The articles prior to January 2008 are part of the back file collection and are not available with a current paid subscription. To access the article, you may purchase it or purchase the complete back file collection here Louise Rauseo, MS, RN The three generation household is a thing of the past." For many years during my youth this statement of fact was quoted as a statement of the progress of our culture and our times. As I joined the adult generation, to supposedly reap the benefits of the separation of generations, I breathed a sigh of relief that I would not have to struggle with nosey relatives or inlaws living in my day-today world. Only very gradually have other facts and beliefs crept into my awareness that could reverse my comfort with the nuclear family life siyle of today. I observed some of these facts in my work in nursing and family therapy; I hold other facts as personal beliefs which have come from a working knowledge of Dr. Murray Bowen's family systems theory which offers some basis on which to predict family process over several generations.1»2 In a simplified form, Bowen's theory states that personal problems of today have their roots in unresolved emotional bonds with parents, but are re-enacted in other close relationships. Most often these new relationships do not offer the opportunity for the emotional conflicts to be resolved since the replayed issues are clouded and unclear to both parties. There are several patterns by which people attempt to deal with unresolved emotional bonds with their parents, Le., conflict with spouse, emotional or physical dysfunction, or projection of the stress and problems to the children. In each of these situations, the adult who has unresolved emotional bonds with the parents is less likely to ever resolve those old bonds satisfactorily if he is distant or emotionally "cut-off" from his parents, relatives, and their history. My first evidence that the physical or emotional "cut-off' between generations might be a problem came in observing problem families in family therapy. Repeatedly, the families with the most persistent high level of anxiety and symptoms of dysfunction were the families who were emotionally out of contact with their families of origin. In a few instances, families with multiple problems were in constant contact with a part of the family of origin, but it was soon evident that another part of the family had been "cut-off' and that the remaining members of the family did not deal with the problems which had been part of those difficult relationships. Those contacts with members of the extended family often evidenced signs of many unresolved issues that were denied or ignored in times of calm and replayed in some kind of symptoms or conflict when anxiety increased in the family. For these families, their extended family network was either unavailable to them, highly threatening to them, or partially unavailable and personally nonsupportive. The more interesting evidence of the importance of relationships in handling stress in day-to-day living came when I observed families in therapy who were able to reverse this trend to cut-off from emotionally difficult or distant relationships and who were able to establish contacts with relatives again. In many situations the renewed contact with family of origin did not begin with direct contact with parents; the parent-contact was often so reactive or distant that efforts to change it were not successful at first. Contacts with aunts, uncles, or cousins in older generations, previously only "names," were often very useful in beginning a viable emotional contact with the extended family. The successful results for the families in this process were sometimes dramatic. The possibility the person had for supportive, important relationships often temporarily relieved the level of anxiety in the problem family. However, the long-range change was more impressive than a momentary relief in symptoms. As… 10.3928/0098-9134-19770101-11

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